With respect, I'm not asking about bass management.
My sub
does receive the LFE channel if I measure AES channel 4 in my measurement software(LFE)
So the question is if I measure AES channel 4 in REW, should the level be 10dB higher (as acoustically measured at the MLP) than measuring AES Channel 1 (FL) or FR, C, etc...
It would seem a simple AVR would measure 10dB high if you measure PCM over HDMI for HDMI4 (LFE) versus HDMI1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7 and 8.
Let me address your concern though, but please lets ignore bass management going forward, as that is separate from my question... As you say, I use the three Xilicas (each Xilica contains a DSP and DAC channels) to filter and sum these, then output each separately to 5 subs (so as to time align my 5 subs at the MLP). I totally understand your concerns about having headroom as I have the subs set low in the Xilicas (which also have internal DACs) and gain matching is perfect.
Just asking about LFE level calibration (relative to the other channels). I can correctly call AES channel 4 the LFE channel too as I am not using JRiver to do any bass management (have this option set to "silient. redirect bass using room correction"); e.g. AES 4 contains no bass from bass management, only the LFE from 5.1 and 7.1 mixes.