Hi
Might be totally misunderstanding you, but it reads like you are trying to use your TV as an HTPC and not the other way around? I don't understand why you would want to "pull" anything from the TV.
If you tried everything and know some of the advanced features already, I'll take a quick stab at this -- if I'm out in left field, maybe you can fill in the details for me.
First take a step back and set up a simple config using the Sony just as a monitor -- jriver running on HTPC+dac will be the media server, renderer and control. Connect TV via HDMI and Dac or sound card to preamp/AVR. You will (should) see your library views on the screen - use a keyboard+mouse or remote control or tablet whatever. Now can you play all your media - audio goes through your speakers, Video through speakers and playback on TV?? If this works then we can move on to the DLNA part of it ...
If I knew what kind of system you have, how many audio channels, if you have a TV tuner in your HTPC, A networked blue ray player ?-- how is all this connected is pretty important. Could be as simple as choosing the wrong devices in Windows too .. hard to tell
I would LOVE to hear suggestions on a GOOD media box that can render the most formats possible
Easy MC 19 + a recent and quiet computer -- hard to find more format choices already under the hood
am i better off to use a different renderer (ie. a media box, or separate HTPC....but not apple TV, not going there) to handle the network stuff and rendering, and just output to the TV?
that's a tough question not knowing what you have already.
This is a very personal opinion so take it with a grain of salt .... if I was buying a system from scratch I would never get a renderer for audio. A high end renderer is very expensive, if it wants to be on the same par as JRiver is out of the box. Linn, Naim, Pacific Audio among others make them but jriver does everything they do (not counting the DACs inside and hardware of course; buying a DAC from them, if you wanted to, would save you 50% + the 50 buck fro jriver
).
So better to put the money in a DAC the analog part of the system, or boostin the video segment fo the system if you are a big fan. IMHO again
I could see using a quality blue ray player like an Oppo if I was more into HD playback - depends a lot on the HTPC being powerful and modular with lots of options or is it slim, and silent with no room for a discrete graphics card.
But then again,
just my opionion