I read it and understand the concept you're after
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Some more cogent thoughts:
Too many acronyms- I'd shorten Broker of Things (BoT) to '
The Broker', similarly I'd chuck DoT for simply 'the/ our database', and loose the App from the end of OneRemote.
In essence, your document feels like something written by a programmer, not a marketing person.
Whilst that isn't necessarily a bad thing, at this stage, I'm not sure you should be looking at us for target feedback- We're essentially a bunch of technical people, who understand the references you're making.
You need to convince the masses that you can provide an interface that talks to everything they've got- They won't necessarily know or care which protocol their shiny new lightbulb uses, just that it can be controlled from 'an app'
To cite your first link:
As a marketer, if you've got a product that in general is like every other product of its kind, though maybe with a few value-added differences—there's no need to re-write the entire history of your product's invention in your sales copy.
The concept of a remote is not new
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The concept of a universal remote is not new (As I mentioned earlier, the dollar store, or at least our European equivalent) has had them for ages)
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The concept of an app as a remote is not new
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What you're essentially doing IMHO is combining several existing technologies, that everyone has at least heard of into one continuous whole. What will make or break this is whether *it works*- Any sort of fiddling further than entering a model number, and I'm afraid you've probably lost.
A remote control has to be simple and intuitive.
An couple of examples of the way I'd be spinning this:
The BrokerYou want some sort of graphic in here, the logo for the broker'The Broker' is your local home or office hub.
It runs on anything from a Raspberry Pi to a high-power server, and transmits commands seamlessly to all your existing devices.
Adding another is simple- All it needs to do is ask our database for details.
One RemoteSnazzy screenshot, with a device superimposed to one sideTeamed with 'The Broker', our IOS/ Android app lets you control any device you choose, all on the tap of a button.
-Leezer-