In most media software, playlists are simple references to existing file names or internally managed objects. That is files first, playlists second.
What you're suggesting is playlists first, files second. Somehow, you'd like playlists and the media software to go find that music. So, how can it do this?
1. By exact or fuzzy matches of file names
2. By exact or fuzzy matches of meta data (i.e. tags)
3. By audio analysis matching algorithms
It is pretty safe to say that (1) is unlikely to happen, as user's naming and storage schemes are as disparate as human language. And (2) requires user's to determine which meta data should be matched minimally, but the general case is that user's meta data is typically worse than (1). So we're left with (3), which requires users on their systems to have already run the software to do analysis, and it must match the same used by MC.
So, its a tall order.
If you want others to hear your music, create not only a playlist, but also bring along the media files themselves which are referenced by the playlists. Use standard, common formats utilized by your friends/families media software.
There's nothing to be afraid of with Smartlists - they don't / won't damage your media files. They are just playlists that use rules to determine how to populate the list, rather than static lists you manually create. These are easy to experiment with.