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[KingSparta]

Picture this: A Rib Eye Beef Patty (Homemade: Just Slice Up A Rib Eye Steak And Put It In The Food Processor For A Bit.) A Large Soft Roll Slathered With Dukes Mayonnaise (There Is No Sugar In Dukes  Mayonnaise) And Then Toasted (The Roll Gets So Crunchy). Add Melted Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Bacon, Red Onions, Tomatoes, Lettuce, Salt, Pepper (With Ketchup, And Pickles If You're So Inclined).
 
Rib Eye Cheddar Cheese Bacon Burger, Done

[bebe]

that's fine until you hear "you're being ba-a-a-d ?!" from significant other come flying around a corner and you freeze dead in your tracks