So, I got most of my sold items shipped; well, the ones that have paid me anyway. Wow, does that take way too much time.
I made it to J River's vast complex, where they are obviously working diligently on a scheme to "RULE THE WORLD!" as Matt kept saying. It was making me a little nervous, actually. He just kept screaming down the vast corridors of the J River gigantic megaplex of intricate and complex underground tunnels and large iron doors with retinal scanners. I asked Matt what that was all about, but he just said, "You'll find out soon enough, everyone will find out soon enough", and started wringing his hands together with a sinister smile perched on his lips. I asked where Jim was, but I was told he was on a secret mission of reconnaissance, and he would not be around that afternoon.
Peter was a very pleasant chap with a great Australian? accent. He was on his way out to a soccer match (I'm sure that was a euphemism for something).
I did get a glimpse of Steve in his office, he had all of the media players you can imagine, all lined up like little toy soldiers. He kept referring to them by their 'rank', and giving them 'orders'. I pretended not to notice, for fear of what might happen to me. At this point, I was quite deep in their 'lair' and was a little concerned about my ability to escape. Eventually, I just 'saluted' him, and told him "thank you, sir" and quickly slipped away.
It was pretty cool to see the roller derby rink they had for "relaxation therapy", as the sign above kept flashing. Matt asked if I was ready for a match, but I told him my leg had fallen asleep during the drive, and I didn't think I would have much balance on the 'jet-powered rollerblades' he offered to let me use.
I did see a few other people 'milling about', but they would not respond to me without 'permission', which no one would give them. Apparently, they knew something, and Matt was afraid they might 'spill the beans.' They looked scared, but maybe they were just tired.
Eventually Matt offered to take us to a 'local hangout' to 'shoot some pool'. I was afraid of what that might actually mean. As it turns out, it actually meant playing pool, which was quite a relief. I was really afraid it might be another term for some sort of 'torture chamber' (which is kinda how it felt, as badly as I played). We had a couple of drinks, shot a few games of pool (Matt & I kicked a**), told stories, and laughed. It was quite pleasant. Until it was time to go. Matt told me that for security reasons he had to 'erase every memory I had of my visit', but I ran away, screaming and darting back and forth while being chased by the 'gang'. I would not be here today to tell you my story, if it hadn't been for the fact that my friend was not as fast as I, and they caught him, as I just kept running. I feel bad about not trying to help, but there was nothing I could do. He was surrounded, and the machines they used on him looked too scary to mess with. I'm just glad he's slow, and I'm not. I was finally able to take him home with me, but not until after they were done with him. He's not quite himself anymore, but he says he doesn't feel any 'pain', but he also says he doesn't feel anything. I've tried asking him what happened, but he just smiles and says, "Media Center is the greatest thing ever!".
I've posted some pictures on my website, if you'd like to see the pure evil of the ordeal. I'm afraid to say any more, since I think they might have my address from registration. Oh, well, if something happens to me, you guys know where to look, although, I wouldn't recommend it, you might be next.
http://www.travelcommentary.com/images/J%20River/The pics are in no particular order, and there are tiff and jpg files, so look closely at the file size before clicking.
Matt is obviously Matt
John is Gately
Bob, well I'm not sure what Bob does, but he's played WAY too much '9 Ball', he kept sinking the 8 ball and smiling (Unfortunately, it's a bad thing)
Mark is my friend
Chris is me
Midwest Mountaineering is where the "Boot Camp" was held
I have no idea what MIXED BLOOD is or means, but it was about a 1/4 mile from Midwest Mountaineering (I think it's one of J River's secret 'labs', but no one will confirm that)
Finally, Skyline are shots of the Minneapolis Skyline at 6am.
Okay, back to sleep now.
Author
Topic: OT - J River guys, how far away from you is... (Read 4209 times)