splash, keep in mind the incompatibility is not MC's fault. It's just another example of the stupidity of these big companies who persist in believing that their own proprietary software will carry the day. Anyone recall DivX discs? BluRay vs. HD-DVD? This is Microsoft thinking that it can beat the ipod. Sheesh.
For what it's worth, I've been using MC for a long time, and one of the best things about the program is its ability to work and talk with the majority of new things that come out. There's always some item that presents problems, but over the long run you're better off in terms of having the most choices of codecs, handhelds, external players, AV receivers, etc.
Unfortunately, I can't help you about recommending a player. I'm one of the lemmings who use an ipod, and fortunately haven't had it crash on me. MC works really well with the ipods.