It sounds like you've got a handful of different problems. I'll offer what advice I can. Generally it's easiest to get good help here by isolating a single problem you're having and making a single post for that.
do you supply the code to the native computer or to the one you are remotely trying to synch with.
I'm not certain what you mean by native computer, but generally the terminology used here is "server" and "client".
The server is where all of your media files and database are stored. The client is any separate device (PC, laptop, smartphone, DLNA device) that you use to access the media files from remotely.
You need to generate an access key (code) on the server. Tools > Options > Media Network will get you to the options for the Access Key and the check box to turn on the Library Server.
On the client you then need to go to File > Library Manager > Add Library > Library Server --> Enter the generated access key in the text field.
If this does not work for you, the first place to investigate is usually your firewall.
I did some editing of album art where none could be found ..and couldnt get em synched on my network.
I believe that this should just work if you are accessing the Server database from a Client machine. Make sure you've got your network setup correct and this should fix itself. If not, then come back to this problem.
other albums which are compliations now show up as one album under each artists own album
There are two fields likely at play here: [Album Artist] and [Artist]. Check to see which you are using.
If [Album Artist] has the same value as [Artist] for your soundtracks/compilations, you should change it to "Multiple Artists" or something along those lines.
ive spent all sunday afternoon and am ready to unuinstall and reinastall as an option
It's doubtful this will help at all. The unfortunate part of Media Center is that it takes a little while to understand. The fortunate part is that this is a somewhat necessary side effect of the power that Media Center offers. It can take somewhat of a digital media paradigm shift to get rolling. Figure out one piece at a time and you'll slowly grow to love and rely on the program.
-Jon