Ok i'll give that a go . But before i go to even more trouble . is it realistic to expect play counts to update?
I don't think that's a realistic expectation, especially since most android music players don't actually write playcounts to the file tags. And even assuming you found such a player, you'd have to deal with the sync/deconfliction issues that Brian mentioned. Deconflicting in the case of playcounts is actually algorithmically "solveable" since playcounts are additive (for example, JRiver could note the playcount at time of sync, note the playcount at next sync and add the "difference" to the library playcount), but that logic isn't currently there in JRiver.
I'm not aware of a working solution to your problem (short of using gizmo or jremote); JRiver was working on a local android player for a while, but I'm not sure if that's still on the horizon.
FWIW - in re: syncing duplicates, I had the same problem with my Note 3, it would often fail to identify existing files on the phone or sdcard and sync back duplicate copies. I tried lots of things and never did solve it. I ultimately stopped using JRiver's sync function to transfer the files directly to my phone. What I did instead is create a new "handheld device" in JRiver that points to a directory. I then use the sync function in JRiver to fill that directory with the files I want. Then I manually move the files over to my phone via windows explorer or the android foldersync app.
That way you can take advantage of JRiver's smartlists and playlists and transcoding, but you can get reliable syncing too. That definitely won't help with your playcounts issue, obviously.