That's ok. Hopefully all that is required is a 101 answer.
As I understand the question, you are already able to play music from your MC19 server on your Kitsound, using the Kitsound to pick and choose the music to play. You just want to know how to control the music from within MC19, and eventually through the something like JRemote.
Ideally, the Kitsound DLNA renderer should show up automatically as just another zone in Media Center's "Playing Now" section. DLNA devices advertise themselves on the network; they should appear by themselves within a minute or two. (Maybe you've never gotten around to opening up the "Playing Now" section because you've never had a reason to.
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Assuming the Kitsound does show up as a zone under "Playing Now" (the default local zone is just called "Player"), then you can just select it by clicking on it, then send music or playlists or whatever you want. The music should then be sent over the network to the Kitsound.
Once you have that working, then you can use JRemote to do the same thing. I have never actually used JRemote (I have used Gizmo), but my understanding is that you would get into JRemote, connect to MC19 over the network, and then use JRemote to tell MC19 where to send the music.