G'Day John,
Don't give up so easily. The problems are probably fixable, even the crashes. The more people that come across from WMC to MC, the better it will be. I suspect that part of the issue is that MC has lots of settings for everything. I don't remember as many video settings when I used WMC. I suspect it defaulted to the most common settings. Anyway, let's look at the issues.
Thanks, but there are very few settings in that section of configuration - and none of them remotely related to aspect ratio.
I was sort of expecting a default aspect ratio in the DLNA settings as well. I don't use DLNA as a general rule, but my TV is a renderer, and sometime I test capabilities. Although I always push media from my HTPC to the TV, rather than having the renderer pull media from the Server as I suspect you do. I'm assuming you aren't using a Remote App with MC at this stage.
First thing, sometimes TV broadcasters screw up the Aspect Ratio in their broadcasts. Mostly just for specific programs, but sometimes for all programs on a channel. That could be the case. Does the problem happen for just one program channel, all channels, all programs? MC stores a tag called [Aspect Ratio] against every file, but that is just for information purposes. It is sometimes blank for TV recordings, and it is possible that your Sony BD player uses that tag to decide how to play the steam, and assumes a blank means use a ratio of 4:3. Or maybe your Sony BD player uses a default ratio of 4:3 if no other information is available.
Fixing the issue is a little difficult when using a DLNA renderer remote from the server. However, you could try this setting on the server:
In Standard View in MC on your server, go to Tools/Options/Video/Advanced, then adjust the Aspect Ratio Mode. I think the default is "No Change". Try using "Automatic". That may see the video rendered at 16:9. You could also try "Stretch" if the recording is incorrectly identified internally, but generally that isn't a good solution in my view.
You could also try changing the "Aspect Ratio Correction" setting in the same area. The setting to output 4:3 as 16:9 may be what you need.
If neither of those fix the problem, try this to see if it works. This isn't a proper fix, just a test. For one of the problem programs, go to the server and start playing it. Then either press "a" to toggle through the different ratios, or press the up arrow on the keyboard until you see Aspect Ratio on the menu, and select the best ratio for the program. That information will then be saved with that program and used when it is played in future. Now go to the Sony BD player and play the same program. Does it play at the corrected Aspect Ratio?
If you try the above and it works (or doesn't), let me know and I'll come back to help with the Fast Forwarding and crashes. I have run out of time right now. Note that the development team is very responsive to fixing crashes, if we can't avoid them all together.