MC would honestly be perfect for much of this.
What you want to do is set up MC as a "server" on the headless PC (Tools -> Options -> Media Network). Then, on the laptop, you install MC and connect to the remote server. You can do this by adding a Library (under Playing Now in the tree on the left) and entering either the Access Key MC created for you on the server, or just the IP/host Address of the remote system. So, for example, my main server on my network at home is called:
daecion.andoria.lan and it is running on port 10630 (don't ask why it is called "andoria", that's a very long story). So, on my other copies of MC, I have a library called
Andoria (on Server) that points to
daecion.andoria.lan:10630. You can also do it with the Access Key but I just map them directly because my IP addresses and hostnames are controlled on my LAN and don't change. Something like 192.168.0.32:10630 would work too if that was the static IP of the server. Honestly, I think the "client copy" of MC will auto-detect the server if they're on the same LAN and add it for you, but I always like to add mine explicitly so that I can give it a friendly name.
Since you're using VNC, I assume you've figured this part all out.
Then, open up that "client copy" of MC and connect to the remote server by simply picking this library under Playing Now in the tree. If you just connect and then play stuff, it'll play on the Laptop. However, if you first select the "There" zone (which you can rename to something more reasonable, like "Living Room Stereo" or something) it will play to the remote machine (it plays "there" instead of "here"). By the way, if you open the port through your firewall, all of this will work over the Internet too. You can "stream" the music out to your laptop from your home server wherever you are, and even scare the dog by playing some tunes at home from far, far away. Videos work too, but it has to transcode them first usually, so it can be quite slow to start them up from a remote location.
MC can be running in the small Library Server mode on the server machine. Simply change Tools -> Options -> Startup -> Windows Startup to Media Server. Then, when you "close" MC on the server machine, it'll keep the Library Server running in the Notification Tray area at all times instead of exiting.
When you re-open MC on the laptop, it'll remember whatever Library you last connected to and reconnect to it. If you switch around a lot (between a local library and a remote library), it can be handy to create shortcuts for MC that directly open the libraries instead of just using the "last library" default mode. This is easy too, just make a new shortcut that points to:
mc17.exe /Library <library name>Tip: The mc17.exe helper application is in the System32 directory, so it is in the system path, and you don't need to specify its directory.
Lastly, that same server also runs a Webserver on the same port, so if you open up a web browser and go to <server address>:<port> it'll give you a nice Web UI for MC. You can control the views available in this UI under Tools -> Options -> Media Network -> Advanced -> Customize Views. They are separate from the views you have in "Standard View" so that you can make them more appropriate for Web/Touchscreen usage. The Web UI works pretty well on an iPad and iPhone (I use it all the time). There are two different "modes" (well, three, but one is a programming interface): WebRemote and WebPlay. WebRemote is used to remote control the server (so what you were talking about), WebPlay is used for streaming content from the server to your browser. You can make bookmarks or App Icons for whatever one you want, or both.
