I read it and understand the concept you're after
Some more cogent thoughts:
Too many acronyms- I'd shorten Broker of Things (BoT) to '
The Broker', similarly I'd chuck DoT for simply 'the/ our database', and loose the App from the end of OneRemote.
In essence, your document feels like something written by a programmer, not a marketing person.
Whilst that isn't necessarily a bad thing, at this stage, I'm not sure you should be looking at us for target feedback- We're essentially a bunch of technical people, who understand the references you're making.
You need to convince the masses that you can provide an interface that talks to everything they've got- They won't necessarily know or care which protocol their shiny new lightbulb uses, just that it can be controlled from 'an app'
To cite your first link:
As a marketer, if you've got a product that in general is like every other product of its kind, though maybe with a few value-added differences—there's no need to re-write the entire history of your product's invention in your sales copy.
The concept of a remote is not new
The concept of a universal remote is not new (As I mentioned earlier, the dollar store, or at least our European equivalent) has had them for ages)
The concept of an app as a remote is not new
What you're essentially doing IMHO is combining several existing technologies, that everyone has at least heard of into one continuous whole. What will make or break this is whether *it works*- Any sort of fiddling further than entering a model number, and I'm afraid you've probably lost.
A remote control has to be simple and intuitive.
An couple of examples of the way I'd be spinning this:
The BrokerYou want some sort of graphic in here, the logo for the broker'The Broker' is your local home or office hub.
It runs on anything from a Raspberry Pi to a high-power server, and transmits commands seamlessly to all your existing devices.
Adding another is simple- All it needs to do is ask our database for details.
One RemoteSnazzy screenshot, with a device superimposed to one sideTeamed with 'The Broker', our IOS/ Android app lets you control any device you choose, all on the tap of a button.
-Leezer-